Monday, July 31

"I drink malt liquor and eat beef jerky. I might die soon."

"I have to get to bed b/c I have a date with a princess tomorrow."

Saturday, July 29

Ray: want me to punch her?
Ray: i don't give a fuck
me: would you?
Ray: probably

- Ray, still not giving a fuck and talking to me about a possible job I might have for him

Friday, July 28

"I heart pee free streets."
-Erin, on being back in Knoxville

Sunday, July 23

"I's like the ultimate display of 'I just don't give a fuck'"

- Ray

Thursday, July 20

"My interest with Keanu Reeves peaked (not to be confused with piqued) with the line 'I know kung-fu.'"

Wednesday, July 19

"Snakes on a Canoe."
"Heh, um, that would actually scare me right now."
-Me, while canoeing

Monday, July 17

"You get immunity because you're a narc."

- me to an unnamed party talking about something I can't mention because if I did you would know who.

Saturday, July 15

"I'm drinking wine with my ham sandwich. I love saturdays...oh damn! this wine is stank!"

- Ray

Thursday, July 13

"Henry Kissinger got Scott laid."
"My hair is looking safariesque today. I think I should buy a rifle."

"That sounds way harder than shooting them where they are."
-Mike on making a career of transporting overpopulated elephants v. going on lifelong safari to control elephant population

Wednesday, July 12

"I saw your friend at panera. He was a nice guy it seems and he made me a great sandwich-- How does he know me?!"

-my mom, happy to meet mike, but paranoid about how he knew her.

don't worry mike. I didn't tell her you talk shit about ghana.

Monday, July 10

"So I was watching Thunder Dome, right. Then it hit me: casting Tina Turner as supreme villian, eh, maybe not the best choice."
"dang! you don't go talking about zizou's mama!! he's so gangsta!"

Saturday, July 8

"My copy of Batman Begins is blessed; it's awesome."